Sorry for the Crushing Mr. Logsdon- A How To by Jonathon Humphries

            Although not as popular as flappy bird or as addicting as clash of clans, candy crush is an entertaining and habit forming game.            When the need to “crush” arises during your daily dose of English you may feel the need to refrain so that you may listen and pay attention. Well I’m here to help you overcome this urge to forgo candy crush in attempt to read and write “gooder” English.

How to play candy crush in English class

1.     You must have 3 basic things in order to play Candy Crush in class. You will need a device capable running candy crush, the app candy crush, and most importantly, an English class. Once you have gotten these three things, you are 1 step close to achieving your goal.

2.     Next you need to play candy crush. You should start off with level one and work your way up from there.

-It will start out fun and fast paced, but just wait until you’re hooked and the levels start looking like a helish candy land.

3.     Eventually, once you have become sufficiently addicted to candy crush, you will find it hard to not play for extended periods of time. One of these periods may be your English class and if this is the case play on my friend. Don’t deny yourself the urge to crush in the name of expanding your reading and writing capacities. Crush and crush until you get tired of those infernal multi-colored candies, which will, inevitably, make you want to throw your phone against a wall. Crush to your hearts content because your English teacher doesn’t care (well yeah he kinda does… but you’re paying some attention right?) and because you know you’ll never reach the end. There will always be the next level, always more candy to crush, and always more English that you can avoid learning. That is until you’re told to put away your phone by your teacher who has had enough of your insolent crushing.

-       To avoid any liability, I do not condone the playing of games while in English class. I am not to blame for any phones confiscated by your English teacher while trying to play Candy Crush. This “how to” is merely a reflection of my skills and should not be carried out under any circumstances

End note- If everyone is on their phones playing then Mister Logsdon WILL ban them… so PLEASE don’t ruin English class for me. Oh and to Mister Logsdon, sorry for my habitual crushing.