I chose my subject #8 Jack Humphries

Fears- The future, that I’m inadequate, and spiders (I hate them with a passion).

Annoyances- Being ignored, people who feel entitled, and stupid people.

Accomplishments- I manage to amuse myself daily (Not too difficult to accomplish I guess).

Confusion- Justice, the universe, and language in general.

Sorrows- That I am confused about ^^^. Also that I can’t always get what I want.

Dreams (Aspirations?)- To remembered.

Idiosyncrasies- I am a terrible speller, and I love math.

Risks-  I’m a terrible driver, and yet I still get behind the wheel regularly.

Beloved Possessions- My family, my consciousness, (now and then) and my Gameboy (then)

Problems- Procrastination, my laziness, and soon I’ll have a billion college applications to write.

Humans naturally fear change and the future. We fear the unknown; the only thing we know for certain is the present, so naturally we fear the changing winds of the future. But I fear spiders.

 I fear spiders because I see them, with their eight eyes and legs crawling about, and a little alarm bell starts going off in my brain. My heart beat rises, I get a crazed look in my eyes and I then usually use my time honored fight or flight response to gauge whether I should flatten the creepy little git or simply run screaming like A little girl. Most of the time I run for it.

Even though the future and spiders are nothing alike, humans have evolved to appreciate the two with a good helping of terror. This is because both the future and spiders pose a threat to us.  For example, imagine this, you are the happiest person who has ever lived. In this moment you feel saturated with joy; right now you are so ecstatic with your life that you feel as though your heart could burst. So a black widow crawls up, bites you, and your heart fails in 15 minutes flat. This example , although a dramatization, represents the fact that every day content satisfied people become less and less happy. The future is a gamble in this sense, things can get better, or things can get worse. What is really depressing about the future is that one-day, we will all get old and die. And what is after death? Well nobody knows; to us mortals, what follows death is the biggest unknown in history. This fear of death is where our fear of spiders and the future manifests itself.

Often times the fear of death drives us humans to try and immortalize ourselves, whether it’s through religion, or history. For example in Christianity the ideas of heaven and hell help to prove to us that our time on earth wasn’t meaningless. If we are good humans while we live, then heaven promises us an eternity of deathless joy among those we love. If we are bad humans while we live, then hell/purgatory will punish us in a fair and just way so that we may eventually make it to heaven. In no modern religion is the idea that when we die, we cease to exist popular. Although religion provides immortality for some, others believe history to be the one true path to immortality. Although Einstein, Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, and other historical figures are dead today, we still care about what them. Their ability to stay relevant millenniums after dying shows how powerful history can be at preserving ones life. To be remembered by historians though, you have to have affected the course of humanity. This is where my 3^rd and final fear arises. What if I waste away my life, never doing anything significant? What if I reach the end of my life, and I have nothing to show for my toil, nothing to be remembered by. This is my greatest fear, and my greatest motivator. Even though death is permanent and terrifying, my achievements and my contributions to humanity could make me immortal in the pages of history.